Therapeutic Refugees

I was called back to the last reading that I posted about entitled Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities (2012). Near the end of the introduction, the authors share the concept of therapeutic refugees which they credit to Dossie Easton. Dossie is a psychotherapist and author and you can find out more about her here: http://www.dossieeaston.com/ If you're already have some familiarity with the kink landscape you might recognize her from The Ethical Slut or The New Topping or The New Bottoming Book. 
A therapeutic refugee is someone who has experienced therapy where there was an attempt to 'cure' them for something that is part of them and is not necessarily harmful instead of supporting individuals to thrive in a world where they aren't accepted for who they are. This is especially prevalent in the kink community, as we live in a generally sex negative culture. 
In the beginning of my foray into sexuality research, I came across an article that spoke about the downsides of sex therapy being a separate field. The article is titled, The Future of Sex Therapy: Specialization or Marginalization? written by Binik and Meana and published in 2009. The article argues that sex therapy doesn't have specific techniques that it employs that are unique and separate from other types of therapy. If you watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBleG8SU0NI which was posted in 2013, you will learn that is no longer the case. 
I do agree that it is not really that different. I was inspired to question the implications of it being a separate field and had a discussion with a woman that I was in connection with that is actively practicing sex therapy in Vancouver. We landed on the fact that sexuality remains a taboo subject and this bleeds into the world of therapy. Not every therapist is comfortable talking about sex or alternative sex for that matter. Ideally, this wouldn't be the case, but it is and continues to be thus the concept of therapeutic refugees.
In Sexual Outsiders, David and Richard highlight that their therapeutic refugees come from all walks of life and they mostly want to understand and embrace their sexuality rather than solve or change it. We are reminded that just because a relationship fits in to the context of our current societal norms doesn't mean that it's 'healthy'. There are abusive and disconnected heterosexual marriages. The authors stress that we develop healthy BDSM relationships in relationship with communities who can teach us how to engage in ways that are authentic, pleasurable and potentially healing for all involved.


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