My Experience of Play Parties

 I recently attended my second play party and it was much different from my first. I felt like there was more for me to do and more people to talk to. I acted as greeter for the majority of arrivals so many of the guests felt familiar once I joined the festivities. It has been 3 days since the party occurred and I've been waking up each morning with my head jumbled with feelings and images that I'm still making sense of.

Play parties challenge many of the norms that we have been taught in society about sex. Sexuality is celebrated and becomes playful and potentially public. One thing that I really enjoy is that I felt a sense that I could show up as nude as I wanted and no one would expect that it meant I wanted to be sexual with them. This is a new and enlivening experience for me.

I was hit on by several people and I chose not to engage sexually that evening, thought it is extremely exciting to feel like there is an abundance of choice. One experience that I witnessed in one of the play rooms was a woman who had three men surrounding her. One to the left of her face, one by her right foot and a third who was fingering her. My interpretation was that the two nearby were emotional supports and the third was a less familiar person that was sexually skilled and providing an experience for this woman. 

The combination of these experiences is why I would consider this activity a healing one. Where as a woman I can express my sexuality without concern that it has to cross a boundary for me and there are opportunities to both create and witness sexual experiences that feel safe, nurturing and pleasurable. What is sexual pleasure without an element of feeling that we will not be harmed without consent in the process?

As these new experience integrate into my belief system of how sex can look, I aim for a feeling of empowerment around both my overt and covert sexual experiences. With this reality comes a responsibility on my part to speak up when I am not enjoying myself if I am able to in the moment, or later on if I can't find my words at the time. On the flip side, I would like to feel that others can speak up to me if they feel uncomfortable with my actions even though the thought of harming others sexually terrifies me. I think inevitably we cross other's boundaries and learning how to communicate about these awkward moments have the potential to bring us closer together.

That's what I got on this topic for now. I'd love to hear others' experiences, in particular memories of the first few times that you might have attended a play party or if you haven't yet what it feels like to hear a bit about it. With gratitude, 

 Rózsa

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