The Joys of a Novice Domme

It's intimidating considering whether or not to label myself as 'kinky'. I feel like: 'have I experienced enough?', 'do I really know what I'm talking about?', basically...am I an imposter? Most people can relate to this feeling. When we join a new community, try something new, start a new job. We wonder if we really belong or if it was an accident that we ended up here.

I can only imagine that being kinky is potentially the same way for some individuals. Some people definitely figure it out early on, but others exist in circumstances where this part of their personality is just not relevant to their current environment. Or there is a eureka moment and the clues become more obvious after the fact. 

One thing I do know is that I really like being bossy. It's particularly satisfying to tell a man what to do. When I tell my partner M what to do and he listens, I am in heaven. When he doesn't listen, then I am irritated as fuck. Having this system and D/s role, allows me to channel my frustration into a playful game that allows us to laugh instead of me stabbing him with 1,000 invisible needles. Hmmm...I wonder if he would go for that :D

I'm not sure I'm into needle play though. On the other hand, I have a lot of tattoos, which also involve needles and I experienced a lot of pleasure through the creation of them. To me tattooing is sacred and spiritual. Others perceive needle play similarly. I have never witnessed needle play that didn't involve tattooing, but I wouldn't mind learning more about it. Perhaps another post will delve more into this topic. Please comment if you're interested.

Domming allows me to practice my assertive side, which is not my default. It's empowering to have a safe place to practice engaging this part of myself. Assertiveness is important and useful for getting my needs met, activism, getting things done. I get instant feedback as to whether I'm going from assertive to aggressive from my partner and then I can learn in my body what the different states of being feel like energetically.

I have a lot to learn and since I've started leaning in, people have been coming out of the woodwork of my life to share their own experiences. We may think something is particularly alternative until we embrace an identity ourselves and then realize we are already surrounded by people that relate to this part of us. What we decide to focus our attention on grows bigger and takes up space in our reality. Right now, it's domming NYC baby <3 YOLO

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