Exploration, Ideas & Inspiration

Part of the kinky process for me, and it appear prevalent in academic literature, is to explore the endless ways in which folks find ways to connect that are outside of our cultural norms. Many academic articles include case studies that highlight excerpts from interviews allowing voices to share their personal and often unique ideas of how they engage kinkily. It is through witnessing others experience that I derive inspiration for what is possible in my own life. This is part of why I wanted to start the blog, because even though it's vulnerable to share, it's an important part of normalizing desires and situations that don't fit into our cultural constructs.

One particular researcher that stands has stood out to me in my perusal of academic journals is Richard Sprott. I mentioned him in an earlier post as he is organizing the consultation group that I will be joining later this month. Sprott lives on the West Coast and is heavily involved in current kink research. I'm looking forward to meeting him and in preparation I am making my way through his writings. The one that I will be speaking of in this post is called, Bisexuality, Pansexuality, Queer Identity and Kink Identity and is contained in a 2017 issue of Journal of Sexual & Relationship Therapy.

Sprott and his buddy Hancock (2017) interviewed 25 individuals and wrote about patterns that they observed in the interviews. The authors ponder their findings noting that for some folks, kink is a gateway to explore sexual orientation or gender and, for others it is intertwined into their identity such that it cannot be separated.

When I was in high school I had a friend that was open about her kinky preferences and at the time I didn't really comprehend it. Now when I remember that, I feel so impressed by her self-awareness and acceptance allowing for exploration. We continue to remain friends and have kinky discussions almost 20 years later! 

The study also analyzed healing in the article. The authors found that healing from trauma and coping with mental health diagnoses were shared experiences, as well as processing grief, shame and isolation. I can speak from experience that there's a lot less shame in my household around sexuality and bodies then I have ever experienced. It is so relaxing to be around and to be able to feel as close to myself as I can manage in a group setting, especially as an empath.

Community was a theme and I can testify that being a part of a community is priceless. My personal experience in the 12 step community has been invaluable to my life. It is a family and there is always someone there to listen, to care, and to support you. I have been changed and my experience of scarcity has been challenged.

Until tomorrow <3

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